The night things changed
by Mary2175
Summary: The first time Juliet cries in front of James. First story from me. I didn't watch Lost untill last year.


**The night things changed**

The first time Juliet cried in front of James was after they had been stuck in the Dharma initiative for about two months. She had had a rough day at the motor pool. Dave had called in sick and Nick was away fixing cars that had stranded somewhere – mostly because of the mud pools (it had been raining cats and dogs for the last five days). It had been just her and Geoffrey, and the amount of work was just too much for the two of them. Even though she loved being busy (it kept her from thinking about home), today things just all had been too much.

She was thankful that James was out for dinner at Miles' and Jin's tonight. The boys had asked her to come as well, but she had politely declined. Even though they were used to each other's company by now, she could tell Miles still didn't trust her completely and Jin tried to be nice to her just a little too much. It made them both feel awkward. James was the only one who didn't seem bothered by her company. He would call here silly names and she would snap back at him frequently, but there was a mutual respect between them which they both treasured. That was why living together seemed to work out as well as it did. Nonetheless, she was happy to have this night to herself.

It was Rachel's birthday today. Her 38th, or 8th, depending how you looked at it. Over the past 3.5 years, she had slowly gotten used to being without a sister. Today however, the pain of being apart was claiming attention again. It was overwhelming and if it hadn't been for Juliet's incredible self-control, she would have been crying a lot today already. A constant flow of memories popped up in her brain, followed by the harsh realization that no new ones would ever be made. Yes, she was losing hope to ever see Rachel again and she could physically feel a constant pain in her chest because of it. Now that she was alone she could finally just let it go and cry it out. _I miss you so much Rach. God, I hate this place. _Tears were welling up while she quickly prepared herself something to eat. She opened a bottle of wine for comfort, but it didn't work.

James came home earlier then she had expected. She had wanted to be in bed, but instead she was still busy washing up. She quickly rubbed her eyes and turned away from him, focusing on the dishes in front of her.

'Hi sunshine, what's cooking?' he asked her while taking of his work boots. 'I brought you a beer if you want one. We didn't drink it all for a change'. He walked into the kitchen and held three beers up at her, smiling.

'He James', she replied, forcing herself to smile.

'You missed out on some top class entertainment darlin'. Seems like Miles might get lucky with the ladies after all. Son of a bitch wouldn't stop hammering about it. Oh, and Jin says hi'. He leaned back against the wall, looking at her back. 'So, you want one? I could have another. Hate to drink alone'. He took one can, placing the rest on the counter.

'No thanks, I'm off to bed', she said, keeping her back towards him while putting the remaining dishes in the cup boards. Her eyes felt red from all the tears that evening, and she didn't want him to see it.

'Don't be a bore, its only ten', he replied, looking a bit disappointed.

'I'm tired James, another time ok?'

'What's up with you? Just one. Come on. It will help you crash into deep sleep'. He smiled, knowing she had trouble sleeping from time to time. He had the same problem, and more than once one of them had found the other one reading in the living room in the middle of the night.

'I'm not in the mood for beer James, I'm going to bed'. She accidentally turned to him and when they made eye contact she could see his facial expression changing.

'Something wrong sweetheart?' There was a hint of worry in his eyes. _Has she been crying? What the fuck? _'Something happen at work?'

She quickly turned away from him. _Shit, shit, shit_. 'I'm fine alright? Just tired. I'll see you in the morning ok?' Her voice trembled slightly. She had to get out of here before the tears would come back. Quickly closing the cupboards, she lightly pushed past him on her way out.

'You been crying, I can tell! I could say it's nice to see that you're human, but I won't since you obviously don't want me to notice', he called after her as she was walking towards her bedroom.

'Leave me alone James', was all the response he got.

A bit flabbergasted, James leaned back against the kitchen counter. What was _her _problem? Maybe that time of the month? His head started producing the usual cynical thoughts. He and Juliet might get along ok – _which was already a surprise - _she remained a mystery. Never telling him anything personal, not showing much emotion… up until now at least. He had never heard her laugh out loud; a polite or sometimes mischievous smile was the best he had ever managed to get from her. And as far as crying goes… he had to admit he was a bit shocked by the red eyes tonight. He had not thought her capable of crying. She was always so in control of everything, including whatever emotions she had (_if _she had any…). It had frustrated the hell out of him that she was so hard to read. Had he lost his touch?

Suddenly he felt bad. _What if something's really wrong? _He walked over to her bedroom and stood there for a minute, indecisive of his next move. He knocked quietly. 'Juliet?' No answer. 'Can I come in?' Silence. Then a quiet voice: 'what do you want James?' He opened the door a bit. She lay in bed, back turned towards him. Sheets pulled up over her shoulders. 'I just want to…' He paused. 'You say you're ok, but you don't seem ok, is all. Wanna talk?' _Wanna talk? What kind of sleazy question is that? _There was no reply. _Fabulous, now what?_ Since he didn't want to be a total ass and leave (which, he had to admit, was exactly what he wanted to do), he slowly moved towards her bed and set down.

_I shouldn't have come in. This is a stupid idea._ She was a big girl, right? Whatever bothered her would pass soon enough. She was the ice queen, for Christ's sake!

'Jules… I know we ain't best friends or anything and it's not like we exactly chose each other's company. But I just want you to know that I'm here if ya need me. I can try and listen if you wanna talk'.

Juliet's hand moved up to rub her eyes. He heard a slight sniff.

_Damn it, she's still crying. _

_Damn it, why am I still crying? Why is he here? I can't do this._

James suddenly stood up to take off his jeans. Wearing just boxers and a T-shirt, he moved the covers on the empty side of the bed and climbed in. It was chilly and outside it had started raining again. If anything was going to come from her and he had to try the listening mode, he might as well be comfortable while doing so.

Juliet visibly stiffened at the sound of him stripping. 'Hush Blondie. This is not what you think it is'. He tried to be light about the whole situation but failed miserably. After pulling the covers back up (_Ah, this is nice... Jeez, I'm tired) _he turned towards her back and put a hand on her shoulder. She let go of a sob in return. He firmed his grip while moving closer. 'Come here sweetheart', his voice suddenly calm and low.

Another sob. 'I… I'm fine… I'll be fine James. I just …' Juliet whispered.

'Can't fool me now darlin'. Ice queen façade and tears don't mix. Now, don't be difficult and come here.' He moved his hand towards her stomach and pulled her gently towards him. His arms then folded firmly around her, pressing her back up against his chest. They sighed simultaneously and Juliet let out a giggle. James smiled, unable for her to see. 'Now tell me what has got you so upset', James whispered, still smiling. A deep silence followed and he waited patiently. She would talk now, he knew that much.

'It's my sister's birthday today'. Silence again. James was stunned. He had never thought about her having any kind of relative. Sure, he had wondered about her. But she seemed like the ultimate loner to him. A sister?

'How come you never told me you have sister?'

'I don't know'. _Because it makes me miss her so much._

'Want to talk about her now? Might settle some curiosities I have about you too', he followed.

Juliet chuckled and backed up against him a little more. This was pleasant; not weird at all. His body felt warm and comforting. And she had to admit, she had missed physical contact. A warm hug was often so much more comforting then words. She remembered that from her days with Goodwin, when he would sometimes just hold her after she had lost another pregnant woman, in silence. James was nothing like Goodwin. James was rough, with a rage hidden somewhere that she sensed from the first time she saw him. That was why she tasered him to the ground immediately. He usually covered up that rage with charming grins, sarcastic comments and provocative nicknames. But, lying like this together, all of that just vanished. Their breathing evened and he firmed his grip a little more.

After a little while she broke the silence. She started talking about Rachel, her cancer, Julian, Edmund, his death, how she came to the island, Ben, how she felt like being in prison on this godforsaken rock. And James listened, growing more and more surprised and amazed by all the stories she told. To him, Juliet transformed that evening; she was no longer the emotionless woman, always on top of things, not afraid of anything. Or yes, she was still that, but there was this sensitivity that he would be able to sense from then on. And there was a pain that he so easily recognized. She was now someone who had just had a little too much on her plate in this lifetime. Someone he could relate to, someone who could and would understand how all you go through in life changes you and makes you become who you are today.

For Juliet, James changed that same night. He was no longer the hard conman, organizing things for his own pleasure first, maybe considering others afterwards. Even though he had turned into an unexpected leader already over the past few weeks, he had remained – in her eyes – a man who loved playing games, often at other people's expenses. She could play along easily; she was not to be manipulated. But the games kept her from truly trusting him. Tonight there was a different man; a tender, listening man, who – she believed – honestly cared. Who had seemed sincerely worried after noticing she had been crying. Who _noticed _her. And the comfort that gave her was overwhelming.

THE END


End file.
